The first time I learned I was indigenous and that it meant ugly was when I was 6 years old. The other times in my late 20s and after years of unpacking and owning my heritage, I felt triggered in romantic relationships. This felt awkward to me as I had already devoted time going within and loving myself even writing poetry about my beautiful leather skin and reclaiming the beauty and strength of my foremothers. How could it be that I, a woke prideful indigenous Latina, be triggered by someone calling me a Mayan Queen? I was forced to check myself … once again. I was always a smart child and being around a lot of adults I knew and learned societal codes and looks across a room, I could sense when I was to be excluded from a conversation. I was playing with a friend in her Koreatown apartment and her mom had a friend over. I remember her asking me where my mom was from and I proudly answered, “Guatemala!”. I was taught to be proud at a young age but I was not taught to love and appreciate my indigenous blood. I wasn’t necessarily told it was bad but being a mestiza I never questioned my looks. I knew that we always commented on how my paternal grandmother had hazel eyes and stunning features or how curly hair ran in the family, and my grandma and great aunts had rosy pink cheeks, as if our family needed a disclaimer. However, when this woman turned to my friend’s mom and replied, “mmm pues por eso tiene cara de Indita.” - “Well that’s why she has little Indian features” I knew that wasn’t nice. I went over to tell my mom and she proceeded to confront this lady about her comments, she even went back to insult her and tell her SHE was an India. After that incident I continued my brown girl life. Then I went to a summer camp for three weeks near San Pedro, CA. One of the camp counselors always called me Maria and jokingly called my friend Elizabeth, blonde with pigtails, by my name saying that she was more of a Heidy than me. I giggled and didn't think much of it. There was not much to be said to me that would break me down at the time even though I was chubby and had a unibrow. I was still proud. Besides these racist undertones growing up in LA, I’ve been blessed to be around people that look like me so luckily I don’t feel out the need to hide my identity or who I am. But something that has recently left me in awe and with a sour taste are comments by my own friends and loved ones that make me wonder, what do you really mean when you say I look like Pocahontas or that you love my indigenous features? Yet to this day I don’t see magazine covers with native women on them. I have decided that every time I am told that I will take it as an opportunity to own my identity and help others understand and unpack their own misconceptions and/or fetishes - Fast forward to high school a boy I had a crush on would try to insult me and say that I had nalgas de Menchu (Menchu butt). Talk about body shaming! What a dick, he didn’t deserve my butterflies. For those of you who don’t know Rigoberta Menchú, is the 1992 Nobel Peace prize winner, she is a human rights activist and all around shero. So, in retrospect that is an honor. There is a racist myth and misconception that women who traditionally wear a corte (traditional mayan wear) have significantly flatter glutes than their mestiza counterparts because of the way their body shapes from their clothes. (Stupid, I know!) My new recent shero, Michaela Cohen, writer and creator of Chewing Gum On Netflix so beautifully portrays the awkwardness of dating fetishes and racism (HERE). We all have preferences be it physical and emotional but when the preferences are rooted in toxicity and power dynamics we hit a grey area that as women of color we tend to identify instinctively. What may seem like admiration can be fetishy, and reactions are a reflection of internal battles. Like when I joyfully shared Pocahontas with a previous partner he was triggered and mirrored his emotions on me. I suddenly had to apologize for being me, he was upset that Pocahontas fell in love with a white man.. As am I!!! He made me feel guilty about that, he claimed that like Pocahontas I was conditioned to love white men. Needless to say, a few months later I did as any self-respecting new age woman does and creeped on his social media page to find he was engaged to a white woman. I released my feelings and felt at ease. So, before you comment on my beautiful “exotic” features do look within as to what that really means to you. If you still feel positive and like its a compliment then please share and get ready for my response, depending on the day. I’ll be nice, and deep.
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Last week I had the opportunity to attend the Rally to Support Benjamin Ramirez and Street Vendor Legalization organized by LA Street Vendor Campaign. A crowd of about 300 hurdled at Vine Ave. Elementary School. Cameras, people chanting, adrenaline fueled reporters, creative and intersectional pickets signs, decorated the busy Hollywood rush hour traffic. And there I was soaking it all in - a bit overwhelmed by the media circus.
Just a week previous, Benjamin Ramirez a 24 year old, used the power of social media and technology to expose the spiteful acts of a pedestrian named Carlos Hakas who aimed to intimidate Benjamin into moving his food cart, his primary source of income, by tumbling it down. Hakas’ action resulted in economic loss and public uproar. We quickly jumped onto the narrative and felt connected, some of us felt encouraged to speak and protest and others continued their tireless fight for just policy. Me included. This fight has resulted in an LA City Council vote to decriminalize street vending back in February. This vote protects street entrepreneurs from facing charges that would put them at risk of deportation. To date, however, vendors are patiently waiting for a wholesome and enforceable policy. If our beloved content creators and social media influencers we spend hours a day scrolling by are getting paid for every hit and impression then it is only fair that a man with a voice and story can do the same while advancing justice. Apparently there are already hats and tees being made with Benjamin’s quote: “Me vale madre! De aquí no me muevo,” or “I don’t give a damn. I’m not moving.” Although such unfortunate event occurred and many street vendors face similar attitudes and treatment, Benjamin Ramirez is now a social media influencer. He is the new face of the civil rights movement for street vendors according to a video posted by Stream it Now Productions. Benjamin became an overnight sensation one of the reporters at the rally even called out his fan base by saying, “Benjamin mas famoso que Donald Trump” or “Benjamin, you are more famous than Donald Trump.” A mere Google search has upward of 11 million results while Carlos Hakas has 75 thousand results. Obviously the David in this story is Benjamin, the underdog who won our activist hearts over, and pushed otherwise apathetic citizens into informed citizens. The original video posted on Facebook has 8.8 million views alone, as big as the population of New York or about three times the population of LA, and this is not even taking into account the cross posting on different platforms. Benjamin is a prime example of how we can monetize social justice. His story is being used by companies, artists, a movement and for radio and television ratings - his story is emotionally competent and relevant. Companies like PEPSI have paid millions of dollars to advertising that would seem relevant and socially conscious, resulting in a fiasco(aka Kendall Jenner). Spanish radio stations and TV shows are inviting Benjamin to speak about the incident, and a local band already hit 47K views on their “El Corrido de Benjamin Ramirez” song. The day of the rally Benjamin was granted a $ 1,000 check by Culver City property management company, Goldrich and Kest as part of their 60 Acts of Kindness Campaign. Immigration law offices are also flocking Benjamin for a ride on the social good bandwagon. So a note to all those interested in being relevant and telling a story, should you go the social justice and socially conscious route make sure you are doing your due diligence and research to be culturally competent. Besides capital, what our community spokespersons need is a voice and not at the expense of your ratings and social acceptance. Pay up if you want the story. My only fear for Benjamin is that unlike the Instagram influencers, he will not benefit exponentially from his platform. He has everything he needs for a career in social media, the following, the story, the activism. All he needs are some personal brand hustler tips! |
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